Friday 4 November 2011

Advice?

I pride myself on giving un-asked for, un-wanted, un-professional advice. I have no real basis for a lot of my opinions; besides the fact that I'm doing a PhD in Psychology, I have no actual clinical training. Even still, I think I'm a fairly persuasive person, so at least some people go away thinking the advice I gave was useful (whether it was or not really is an entirely different story). Though now I think of it, there was this one time my advice was voted the top answer on yahoo! answers (true story). That's got to count for something, right? 

So with that caveat, I have decided that if you would like to ask me for random advice, I am happy to tell you what I think. There is a contact page you can go to, where you can ask anonymous questions. If enough people (i.e., more than one) have questions, I will go about answering them. If not, well please join me in pretending this whole venture never occurred.

Just so you can be astonished at my advice-giving powers, I have provided some example (read: pretend) questions, so you can see my extremely wise answers.

Question #1: Dear Lozzz123, I'm extremely sad of late, because I have begun to realise that there is no way I will ever be as awesome as you. Please give me some awesome tips, or some ways to deal with not being as awesome as you. Regards, Depressed.

Dear Depressed. I'm sorry you're so unhappy, but at least you came to this realisation sooner than later. There's no reason to live in denial. With that being said, you'll be happy to know your condition is not entirely without hope. While of course, you can never be as awesome as I am (NEVER), you can try to copy me in every way. People will then at least give you credit for not only recognising my brilliance, but choosing the right person to emulate. Otherwise, I hear there's a tribe in the Amazon or somewhere which has had no outside contact, ever. They've possibly never heard of me, so you could go live with them, without fearing the constant reminders of my awesomeness.

Question #2: Dear Lozzz123, do you think I should do a PhD? Thanks, Wondering.

Dear Wondering, Yes. On the other hand, probably not. One of those.

Question #3: to lazz123 ur hott. 

Dear Anonymous, spelling and grammar can be your friends. I suggest you introduce yourself to them. (See what I did there? They didn't actually ask for advice, but I gave it anyway - and see how much I will enrich their life if they take this on board?)

So there you have it. Ask away! 


P.S. I'm may answer serious questions also.
P.P.S. Disclaimer: advice may not be useful or helpful and could potentially make your life worse. Just sayin'.

6 comments:

  1. i LOVE this. you made me laugh! and it's a great idea!!! :)

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  2. Do I own the cutest dog in the entire world?!
    Can I ask my questions in the comment section?
    Is green your favorite color?

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  3. Ha! This is hilarious. I might think of something while I'm at work and come back to you.

    Re. the photo books you asked me about ages ago...I got it from a photo printing website. I don't know what your equivalent would be, but in the UK there are loads of different companies. Just search on the web and there are bound to be companies that do photo prints and photo gifts.
    They take quite a long time to make and are quite expensive but for something special it's so worth it. Looks much nicer than an photo album.

    Hope you manage to sort something out!

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  4. Fascinating to hear that you're pursuing a Ph.D in Psychology. I took Psychology for my undergrad and currently pursuing my Master's in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. Ironically, my program involves very little research and tons of clinical training. It's actually really fun once you start getting into the nitty-gritty of skills and techniques!

    ~SP

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  5. Well done. Some queries:
    How can I harness my awesomeness as awesomely as you?
    Should I kick my mother-sister out of my house-trailer or is my cousin-wife-daughter better off learning from her aunt-mom-grandma?
    (may have creeped myself out with that last one)
    Here from FTLOB!

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  6. Haha!! I love it! Why is the sky only blue on weekdays when I'm inside an office building? Where oh where has my metabolism gone? How many eggs does it take to make a decent omelette (thought I'd give you an easy one there)?

    Visiting from FTLOB

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